Accepting the Loss of a Pet
Last week we had to put down our dog. Milo was 12 years old and lived the best life. A short life for some dogs, long for others. He ran free on 20 acres, spent his days faithfully by my side as we hiked the mountains and walked the beach. He was with me during heartache and triumph, the day I got married, and when we brought home my son from the hospital. He was fiercely loyal and protective of me up until his last breath. I got Milo well before marriage and family and our bond was unbreakable. He was my best friend and loyal companion.
While I knew his time had come, making the decision was gut-wrenching and broke my heart. Grief comes in waves for me. This isn’t the first time I have experienced loss and grief, though none of it was with an animal which in some ways makes it harder given we are in control of their destiny. This loss has left me with tidal waves of sadness, and then loneliness even with a house full of love and comotion. I feel him everywhere but he’s not here. I wait for the bark or to see him run to my car when I return home, only to find it quiet. I wake in the middle of the night to check on him as I have done for the last year while he slowly declined in health, and his bed no longer there. I wait to hear the jingle of his collar each morning, but I don’t. I only have memory - and sadly my memory is pretty terrible.
While it’s only been a week I feel an incredible void that slowly I’ll have to cope with for quite some time. I need to navigate my loss and find my peace. Milo is now free of pain, he’s free of being stuck in a body that was breaking down when he just wants to run and hike, he is free of my fear that the end was coming. I will spread his ashes in our favorite spots, and remember him being the spirited and beautiful animal he once was.
I am grateful for our years, our adventures, his naughty behavior, his bond with Waylon, and his never-ending love for his family. He will be missed dearly but never forgotten.
January 7, 2008 - August 27, 2020.
I’ll be adding a LOT more photos soon.